Monday, September 8, 2008

Thoughts On Teen Marriage

The New York Times writer Sarah Kershaw claimed in a September Fourth issue of the Newspaper that the acceptable age of marriage is steadily increasing, causing the marriage of younger couples: those seventeen to twenty-four roughly, to seem unacceptable and foolish in the eye of the general public.  Kershaw reports that only one percent of teens around the age of fifteen are getting married these days, and the percentage rises only slightly up to the ages of roughly twenty-five.  The article even begins with the news of the engagement of Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol, to her boyfriend due to an untimely pregnancy.  The entire spread paints an entirely negative view of “teen marriage”, and uses divorce rate statistics to strengthen its arguments.  And while supportive statistics are helpful in boosting the strength of an argument, the reader must find relevance in the supportive material if it is to be effective in any way.  Here in lies my problem with this article, I do not believe that marriage can be proven so easily with mere statistics and percentages.

            I view marriage as a binding contract, a promise, a commitment between two people and God, and also a sign of supposed maturity.   Categorizing marriage makes idea behind the institution of marriage and produce pre-mature notions of the chances that a marriage is headed for success and a lifetime of joy and love and growth (for marriage is not always easy and many tough challenges will inevitably bring couples closer if they are able to love selflessly and remember to rely on God) or if it is headed towards disaster, pain and ultimately divorce.  I believe that marriage is a testament to the individuals acceptance that they will be entering into something that will not be perfect and will only be as good as the effort they put into it.  Now of course this belief stems from a few things, first and foremost I am a romantic and marriage is something I aspire to above all else in my life, second my belief stems and relies on optimism in that it is a best case scenario, and lastly my belief stems from an understanding that marriage for each person is dependant on the timing and the couple getting married.  In one of Dorothy L. Sayers books in the Lord Peter Whimsey series, her main character Lord Peter and his love interest discuss marriage and come to the conclusion that they must wait until they are both ready for the commitment.  Both characters are well above the ages of twenty-five, so I find this idea of waiting not to be proof that you must be older, but simply ready and at the same stage in life.  MTV has recently begun airing a show titled “Engaged and Underage”, and I think that it speaks to the times. Your age at the time of marriage is not nearly as important as the state of your heart, your maturity, and your financial stability.

4 comments:

Larissa said...

Reyn, I like how you took a different angle to this story. Marriage ISN'T something that should be taken lightly- it is a contract before God. However, I feel like you left out the main idea that the article was talking about- teen marriage with the addition of pregnancy. I'm sure you've already read my blog- but in addition to that, because marriage IS a contract and isn't to be taken lightly, I think that the young teens left with a baby shouldn't step into the contract only because they have a child together.

Jesssica said...

Reyn, your description and definition of marriage is so well articulated (and it's beautiful, I love it!)
But I would have liked to hear more of your thoughts on MTV's Engaged and Underage paralleled with our generation of teens getting married. Frankly, I have no idea what the show's about and would have liked to hear a brief synopsis about it or something.

Jenn said...

I also appreciated the emphasis you put on how marriage is such a holy and binding contract, because I agree that this has been lost on our culture today. However, more examples of an inappropriate state of the heart, maturity, or financial stability may have been more helpful to contrast and illustrate one that is appropriate.

Blair said...

I love you, oh darling brother-of-mine, but I'm going to have to kill you if you don't stop dropping your articles and using commas like they're about to reach their expiration date. For the love of Mike, self-edit!