Dr. Dave White spoke Thursday October 23, 2008 at the Biola Torrey Bible Conference on the subject of what he calls, “Dateology, or Hitchology.” He talked about the ways in which the Bible can be used to reference relationships and character but not as a reference for actual dating. He stressed the importance that dating and marriage is for adults, in the sense that you must be a mature and whole person before you attempt to find the man or woman of your dreams. What he meant by whole person is that the people dating should not be unable to live with themselves alone; they need to be mature, self-functioning members of society. He used the analogy that one times one is one, and one times on half does not measure up that equation. Dr. White also included that idea that couple date for the strength of themselves, and not out of a weakness sought to be compensated for in the other person. There was a strong sense of certainty that the true problem with dating is not in fact dating itself, but the level of maturity in the people who are in a particular relationship at any given time. The most essential factor in dating is in fact to recognize that you must look, not for a perfect person, but a person who has the essentials for a good relationship. Essentials can range from honesty to limitations such as the physical boundaries of a relationship to the idea that you expect each other to be punctual for important events. Basically, Dr. White wanted to get this idea across; dating is terrific if you guard your heart and are wise and follow the Bible more than anything other tool for your relationship.
I think that Dr. White had some very important points to make and that his overall message was well reasoned and well produced. I think his ideas of relationships are reflected in a strange way in mainstream media. The television show, Desperate Housewives, showed on a new episode Sunday night on ABC a character who had just gotten a divorce jumping into bed with a house painter because there was a void she needed filled. This character did the exact opposite of Dr. White’s advice, she pushed physical limits, tried to multiply one by one half, and ended up breaking the heart of the man she slept with. The importance of Dr. White’s message seems to be most effective when compared with the generally acceptable choices non-Christians make regarding their relationships in life. It seems very important that the basis of a relationship be a strong relationship with Christ first so that they are a complete person and can most effectively build a relationship with another like minded and like believing person. I only regret that he did not touch on teenaged dating because I feel that there is an appropriate place for dating amongst teenagers but only for the experience gained, not the emotional baggage it creates.
